Masculine Leadership: Breaking Free from Good Boy Points

Chris Rock once said that only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. Men? Men are loved for what they can provide. The audience laughed, but the reason it hit so hard is that it’s true.

And here’s the rub: that truth doesn’t just show up in romantic relationships, it permeates our entire culture. Men are judged on their productivity, their usefulness, and their ability to provide value. In corporate life, in friendships, even in families, men are rarely loved simply for existing. They are assessed, measured, and often discarded if they fail to produce.

This reality has created what we call “Good Boy Points.” Men are trained from boyhood to earn approval by pleasing others—first their mothers, then their teachers, then women they date or marry. Raised primarily in female-dominated environments (daycare, schools, even universities), boys grow into men who have learned one thing above all: your worth comes from being useful to women and society.

But here’s the catch—chasing Good Boy Points is a trap. It infantilizes men, strips them of self-respect, and leaves them wide open to manipulation. Men in emotionally abusive relationships often twist themselves into knots trying to earn more points, trying to be good enough, hoping the abuse will stop. And when they break under the weight of it? Society tells them to “man up.”

No wonder so many men check out through porn, affairs, drugs, workaholism, or just giving up. Because when your natural instincts have been demonized from birth, when you’ve been told masculinity itself is dangerous, and when every ounce of your value is tied to how useful you are, you end up lost in the wilderness of modern manhood.

But here’s the truth: you don’t have to live chasing Good Boy Points.
There is another way. A way rooted in responsibility, brotherhood, and self-respect.

That’s why we created The Undaunted Man. Our men’s groups—both virtual and in-person—exist so you can walk into a room, drop the mask, and finally tell the truth about your life without shame. You’ll be met with accountability, not emasculation. Brotherhood, not manipulation.

If you’re ready to stop living for Good Boy Points and start living as a man with integrity and power, then here’s your next step:

👉 Download Solving the Masculine Dilemma and dig deeper into the truth about modern masculinity.
👉 Join one of our Men’s Groups and find the brotherhood you’ve been missing.

Because no man was born to beg for points.